How to Practice a Beautiful Patience

There have been some recent events in my life that have caused me to reflect on the concept of patience or sabr and whether or not I am practicing the type of patience — a beautiful patience — as described in the Qur’an:

وَالْعَصْرِ إِنَّ الْإِنسَانَ لَفِي خُسْرٍ إِلَّا الَّذِينَ آمَنُوا وَعَمِلُوا الصَّالِحَاتِ وَتَوَاصَوْا بِالْحَقِّ وَتَوَاصَوْا بِالصَّبْرِ

By the time, verily mankind is in loss except for those who have faith and perform righteous deeds and enjoin one another to truth and enjoin one another to patience. [103:1-3]

أُولَٰئِكَ عَلَيْهِمْ صَلَوَاتٌ مِنْ رَبِّهِمْ وَرَحْمَةٌ ۖ وَأُولَٰئِكَ هُمُ الْمُهْتَدُونَ

 الَّذِينَ إِذَا أَصَابَتْهُمْ مُصِيبَةٌ قَالُوا إِنَّا لِلَّهِ وَإِنَّا إِلَيْهِ رَاجِعُونَ

Those who, when a calamity afflicts them, say, “To God we belong, and to Him we will return.” Upon these are blessings and mercy from their Lord. These are the guided ones. [2:156-157]

فَاصْبِرْ صَبْرًا جَمِيلًا

So be patient with a beautiful patience [70:4]

But why is important to practice a beautiful patience and how do we practice it?

The importance of sabr is found in Sura al-Hajj:

  وَمِنَ النَّاسِ مَنْ يَعْبُدُ اللَّهَ عَلَىٰ حَرْفٍ ۖ فَإِنْ أَصَابَهُ خَيْرٌ اطْمَأَنَّ بِهِ ۖ وَإِنْ أَصَابَتْهُ فِتْنَةٌ انْقَلَبَ عَلَىٰ وَجْهِهِ خَسِرَ الدُّنْيَا وَالْآخِرَةَ ۚ ذَٰلِكَ هُوَ الْخُسْرَانُ الْمُبِينُ

And among the people is he who worships God on edge. When something good comes his way, he is content with it. But when an ordeal strikes him, he makes a turnaround. He loses this world and the next. That is the obvious loss. [22:11]

Without patience a person’s faith is not strong and steadfast. Inevitably, that person will face a trial and when faced with that trial that same person will turn away from Allah which not only denies them the hereafter but also the opportunity in the current life rise to the highest degrees by practicing sabr.  Thus, since we will all face tests and trials, practicing sabr is the base of our iman.

Luckily, practicing sabr does not simply mean resigning yourself to misery. We need to remember the story of Yusuf and what he said to his brothers after their paths crossed years later:

إِنَّهُ مَنْ يَتَّقِ وَيَصْبِرْ فَإِنَّ اللَّهَ لَا يُضِيعُ أَجْرَ الْمُحْسِنِينَ

He who practices piety and patience – God never fails to reward the righteous. [12:90] 

When a trial befalls us, it may take years before we see the reward from it, but a true believer never loses faith in Allah’s mercy.

In the Hadith below we learn that true patience is practiced at the first sign of a trial when one is most prone to feeling angry or anxious: 

It was narrated that Anas ibn Maalik (may Allah be pleased with him) said: The Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) passed by a woman who was weeping at a grave, and he said: “Fear Allah and be patient.” She said: Leave me alone, for you have not suffered my calamity! And she did not recognise him. It was said to her: He is the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him). She came to the door of the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) and did not find any doorkeepers there. She said: (I am sorry), I did not recognise you. He said: “(True) patience is only when calamity first strikes.” Al-Bukhari (1283) and Muslim (926).

 As the trial continues, sabr is practiced through prayer:

 وَاسْتَعِينُوا بِالصَّبْرِ وَالصَّلَاةِ ۚ وَإِنَّهَا لَكَبِيرَةٌ إِلَّا عَلَى الْخَاشِعِينَ

And seek help through patience and prayer. But it is difficult, except for the devout. [2:45]

In addition to prayer, we must strengthen our religious commitment through all of the good deeds that know bring us closer to Allah such as reading Qur’an, enjoining good, giving sadaqah, fasting, and reciting thikr. 

Lastly, I will leave you with these two Hadiths as a consolation and encouragement if you are going through a trial. I hope you remember their promise and recite the dua within daily:

“There is no Muslim who is stricken with a calamity and reacts by saying as Allah has commanded: ‘Inna lillahi, wa inna ilayhi raji’un. Allahumma indakah-tasabtu musibati, fajurni iha, wa ‘awwidni minha (Truly, to Allah we belong and truly, to Him we shall return. O Allah, with You I seek reward for my calamity, so reward me for it and compensate me),’ but Allah will reward him for that and compensate him with something better than it.” Sunan Ibn Majah, Vol. 1, Book 6, Hadith 1598

“There is nothing (in the form of trouble) that comes to a believer even if it is the pricking of a thorn that there is decreed for him by Allah good or his sins are obliterated.” Sahih Muslim 2572 

The Islamic Diet

It’s that time of year again when many resolve to make positive changes to their diet. This usually involves some variation of a crash diet that will unsurprisingly be abandoned by the second week of the new year. If this sounds familiar to you, I invite you to try a different approach — a more gentle and sustainable approach to your diet goals. Read on to see what the Quran and Hadith have to say about this subject.

The information that can be found on food in the Quran and Hadith has to do with the types of food, the amount of food that should be eaten, and the manner in which food should be eaten. These three aspects combined are the key to having a healthy, realistic and holistic relationship with food.

Types of Food

The Quran mentions two main types of verses about food: one that mentions what food is permissible and another that introduces the concept that what has been made halal is consequently good for us. The second type of verse is seen here:

“O you who have believed, eat from the good things which We have provided for you and be grateful to Allah if it is [indeed] Him that you worship.” (2:172) 

Contrary to how this verse is incorrectly understood, Allah is not saying to eat only “the good things” and avoid the bad foods, but He is saying that all of the foods that He has made halal are “good things”. 

This is great news for us Muslims! As long as we eat halal foods, we can be sure that we are eating foods that are good for us. There’s no need to exclude entire food groups to be healthy (as is often seen in the countless modern day diets), our Creator knows what is good for us and has made those things permissible. Now, before we go off and indulge in an entire chocolate cake (it’s halal right?), we need to look deeper into our sources to understand what food choices to make.

Note that the Quran mentions the following foods by name:

Drinks

  1. Water (mentioned 100+ times)
  2. Milk (2)
  3. Honey (2)
  4. Wine that exists in Paradise (2)
  5. Olive oil (1)

Plants

  1. Dates (22)
  2. Fruit (14)
  3. Grapes (11)
  4. Grains in general (7)
  5. Olives (6 or 7)
  6. Buckthorn (4)
  7. Pomegranate (3)
  8. Mustard seed (2)
  9. Onion (1)
  10. Herbs, beans and vegetables (1)
  11. Cucumbers (1)
  12. Garlic or wheat (1)
  13. Lentil (1)
  14. Gourd (1)
  15. Banana (1)
  16. Herbage, or Abb (1)
  17. Fig (1)

Halal Animals

  1. Cattle (34)
  2. Birds in general (18)
  3. Camels (11)
  4. Calves (10)
  5. Cows (9)
  6. Sheep (8)
  7. Seafood (5)
  8. Quails (3)
  9. Goats (1)
  10. Hoopoes (1)
  11. Meat in general (1)

Notice that all of these foods are unprocessed, whole foods. Sweets and other indulgent foods existed at the time, however, they are not mentioned in the Quran as part of the good foods granted to us by Allah. Not to say those processed foods are not halal, but by excluding those foods from the Quran and highlighting natural foods, we can assume that the latter are more beneficial for us. After all, the Quran is meant to be guidance for all aspects of our lives, so it is only fitting that the best of Allah’s bounties be mentioned. 

Amount of Food

The second aspect with regards to the Islamic approach to food can be found in the hadith about the eating habits of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him). There are several hadith that describe the quantity of food that Muhammad (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) would consume. 

Ibn ‘Umar narrated that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: “The believer eats in one stomach whilst the kaafir eats in seven.” Narrated by al-Bukhari (5081) and Muslim (2060)

He said: “The son of Adam does not fill any vessel worse than his stomach. It is sufficient for the son of Adam to eat a few mouthfuls, to keep him going. If he must do that (fill his stomach), then let him fill one third with food, one third with drink and one third with air.” Narrated by al-Tirmidhi (1381), Ibn Maajah (3349); classed as saheeh by al-Albani in al-Silsilah al-Saheehah (2265)

The Quran also addresses this concept of balanced restraint:

“and eat and drink but waste not by extravagance, certainly He (Allah) likes not Al‑Musrifoon (those who waste by extravagance)” (7:31)

As we can see, not only do we need to eat what is halal and ideally whole and natural foods, but we need to practice moderation in quantity and fill no more than two thirds of our stomachs with food and drink. This is known in our days as “portion control” and is the single, major contributing factor to staying trim and healthy. Even too much of a good thing can make you ill, cause indigestion, and other unpleasant effects so controlling our consumption is crucial to achieving lasting health.

Manners with Food

In the Hadith are many examples of the manners the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) exhibited while eating. 

It was described by Ibn al-Qayyim as follows: When he put his hand in the food, he would say, “Bismillaah (in the Name of Allah), and he told people to say this when eating. He said, “When any one of you eats, let him mention the name of Allah. If he forgets to mention the name of Allah at the beginning, let him say Bismillaahi fi awwalihi wa aakhirihi (in the name of Allah at its beginning and at its end).” Saheeh hadeeth, narrated by al-Tirmidhi (1859) and Abu Dawood (3767)

This Hadith tells us to give thanks before and after each meal. By doing so we slow down and acknowledge the blessing of the meal and understand it’s value to our health and well-being. Once we truly internalize the meaning of this Hadith we will naturally choose meals that we know are truly good for us and are the best of Allah’s bounties.

He never criticized food at all. If he liked it, he would eat it, and if he did not like it, he would leave it and not say anything. Narrated by al-Bukhaari (3370) and Muslim (2064)

Here, we learn that it is fine to have preferences for certain foods but to not criticize any food that is not to our liking. Again, this highlights the position of gratitude that we need to practice with all halal food.

He commanded people to eat with their right hands and forbade them to eat with their left hands. He said, “The Shaytaan eats with his left hand and drinks with his left hand.” Narrated by Muslim (2020)

This Hadith discusses the unseen consequences of eating and drinking with the left hand. However, from a practical standpoint, by eating and drinking with only the right hand, it consequently causes us to slow down our consumption during meal times. Eating slowly has a whole host of benefits and it also allows the stomach to communicate to the brain when it is full before it reaches maximum capacity and also is better for digestion.

It was also reported that he said, “I do not eat reclining.” Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 5083

What is understood by this Hadith according to an-Nawawi is: “I do not eat like one who wants to eat a great deal and sits comfortably; rather I sit like one who is going to get up quickly and I eat little.” We are instructed to not eat in a manner that is too relaxed that may lead to overeating. 

While there is more detailed information that can be explored about the consumption of food according to the Quran and Hadith, this is meant to provide the most significant points about the Islamic approach to diet. As you can see there is no such concept as a “diet”, but instead, there are daily practices and choices that are made at each meal. This is a very liberating idea in this society where there is an obsession with finding new and improved ways to eat. The Islamic approach is not a fad but are a collection of healthy habits that once put into practice, will become second nature to implement. Surely the information provided in this post will help us reflect upon our patterns of eating and permanently improve them in a way that is blessed and recommended by the One who knows us best. 

Ramadan 2019 Takeaways

Alhamdulillah, another Ramadan fasted and completed.

I’m always amazed at the end of Ramadan as I reflect upon all of the activities I was able to do while fasting. It’s quite a physical feat for all of us and it’s truly special to able to experience the strength and patience Allah grants us during this special time.

However, Ramadan is not only a physical challenge, but mainly a spiritual and mental one and hopefully we’ve all come away from it with some good habits. Here are the ones that I aim to keep long after Ramadan, inshallah.

     Intentional Eating

This is an obvious one. After fasting the whole day, even the first drink of water is heavenly let alone everything that follows after. But besides the taste, you can appreciate what food and drink does for your body, how it affects your emotions, and the social aspects of sharing a meal. I want to continue making mealtime a ritual that is shared and savored.

    Patience

Abstaining from food and drink for the whole day can make even the most mild mannered of us irritable, short tempered, and moody. I had to reign in my emotions and calm down when I found myself getting frustrated at life. There’s nothing like trying to hold and calm a tired, crying baby while preparing iftar after a long day of fasting to make you learn to go inward and focus on the task at hand without letting the external conditions affect you. I had to surrender my expectations of how I thought someone should act, or how I wanted my plans to play out, and find peace in knowing what I could control and not letting what I couldn’t control fluster me.

     Remove the Noise

Throughout the month, my social media activity was nearly zero. I wanted to disconnect myself from everyone. I knew that this Ramadan was going to be the most difficult one for me thus far because I had a lot of conditions up against me: breastfeeding, sleep deprived, working full-time, and caring for an infant. I made the decision to stay off of social media  to keep to myself and rest whenever I had a rare moment, instead of inviting any negative emotions that can arise from mindless scrolling. An unintentional side effect of this was a sense of clarity into what was important to me and not because someone made online made it look appealing. When I started to let myself decide what was worth my time, I started feeling more content, decisive, and confident. That’s why removing myself from the noise of social media and allowing myself to think for myself is a key habit that I want to keep.

There you have it. Those are habits that I gained this Ramadan that if I can continue, will positively affect my relationship with Allah, others around me, and myself. I wish you all a happy Eid and another year filled with sustained, positive habits!

Were there any experiences this month that opened up your potential to be a happier and better Muslim?