quitting social media – So Remember Me

Alhamdulillah, another Ramadan fasted and completed.

I’m always amazed at the end of Ramadan as I reflect upon all of the activities I was able to do while fasting. It’s quite a physical feat for all of us and it’s truly special to able to experience the strength and patience Allah grants us during this special time.

However, Ramadan is not only a physical challenge, but mainly a spiritual and mental one and hopefully we’ve all come away from it with some good habits. Here are the ones that I aim to keep long after Ramadan, inshallah.

Intentional Eating

This is an obvious one. After fasting the whole day, even the first drink of water is heavenly let alone everything that follows after. But besides the taste, you can appreciate what food and drink does for your body, how it affects your emotions, and the social aspects of sharing a meal. I want to continue making mealtime a ritual that is shared and savored.

Patience

Abstaining from food and drink for the whole day can make even the most mild mannered of us irritable, short tempered, and moody. I had to reign in my emotions and calm down when I found myself getting frustrated at life. There’s nothing like trying to hold and calm a tired, crying baby while preparing iftar after a long day of fasting to make you learn to go inward and focus on the task at hand without letting the external conditions affect you. I had to surrender my expectations of how I thought someone should act, or how I wanted my plans to play out, and find peace in knowing what I could control and not letting what I couldn’t control fluster me.

Remove the Noise

Throughout the month, my social media activity was nearly zero. I wanted to disconnect myself from everyone. I knew that this Ramadan was going to be the most difficult one for me thus far because I had a lot of conditions up against me: breastfeeding, sleep deprived, working full-time, and caring for an infant. I made the decision to stay off of social media to keep to myself and rest whenever I had a rare moment, instead of inviting any negative emotions that can arise from mindless scrolling. An unintentional side effect of this was a sense of clarity into what was important to me and not because someone made online made it look appealing. When I started to let myself decide what was worth my time, I started feeling more content, decisive, and confident. That’s why removing myself from the noise of social media and allowing myself to think for myself is a key habit that I want to keep.

There you have it. Those are habits that I gained this Ramadan that if I can continue, will positively affect my relationship with Allah, others around me, and myself. I wish you all a happy Eid and another year filled with sustained, positive habits!

Were there any experiences this month that opened up your potential to be a happier and better Muslim?

Sometimes social media can be entertaining and a source for inspiration. I love watching all sorts of videos on Youtube such as commentary, Islamic, how-to, and lifestyle videos. My second favorite site is Instagram. There are so many profiles that post compelling content, that I can’t help but be uplifted by them.

However, every so often amidst all of the positive aspects that come from using these sites, I stumble into a cycle of comparison and discontent with my own life.

Everyone seems prettier, smarter, richer, happier, and to be having more fun than I am.

Everyone seems to be the perfect person with the perfect life.

…and it’s so hard to not believe that. Even though I know that can’t be true, for some reason, when you’re bombarded with a perfect picture after perfect picture on your feed it eats away at you and you can’t help but to keep looking even though it’s making you feel worse and worse with each passing picture.

Which is why I decided to unplug myself for a month from it all. Here’s what happened:

1. I was thinking less about others, more about me

I was spending an average of about 6.5 hours a day on my phone which is over 45 hours a week comparing myself to others. Obviously once I stopped doing this I wasn’t able to see what everyone else was doing and started doing things for myself. I started doing things that I wanted to do, things that made me feel better which made me a happier, less anxious person.

2. I got more done, faster

I have a full-time career and with the amount of time I was spending scrolling through Instagram, that in and of itself was another full-time job. Once I quit social media, clearly, a lot of time freed up for me. I spent more time reading, being with family, writing, learning new languages, reading Quran. Basically, everything that I wished I could do, I did.

3. I became more content with my life

Since I was no longer looking to other people whose lives were vastly different than mine and comparing them to myself, it became easier to find the beauty and fulfillment in the life I currently had. I found satisfaction in the things that brought me happiness, even if they weren’t “Instagram worthy”.

4. I became more confident in myself

With the anxiety of comparison and the distracting noise of a endless feed gone, I started to feel better about where I was in my life and where I wanted it to go. The decisions I made on what to do with my extra time where fully my own and not because I wanted to impress anyone else.

5. I became grounded in reality

While social media was created in order for us to connect with each other online, it seems to have done the opposite in real life. Often times we don’t notice the world around us because we’re focused on a world inside of the screen that is based on a reality that may or may not even be real. Once I opened Instagram for the first time, it seemed comical how much time people were spending projecting a persona and a lifestyle to strangers online that they will never know and never meet. I found myself asking, “who was it all for?”, as I chuckled at the absurdity of it all.

While the benefits of quitting social media for a month far outweighed the drawbacks, there were times when I missed looking at the beautiful photography and interesting videos. Now that I know what parts of social media I truly enjoy for myself, I am better at avoiding the endless, time-wasting, self-esteem lowering scrolling and choosing to look at the content that I know will uplift me. I am happy to be engaging with social media in a smarter, healthier way and I recommend you trying it out for a month and seeing what you find out about yourself!